Heya im back!!!
I have been urged (more like forced!) in to writing more in my blog!
I need to get a boyfriend! I go through stages where i dont need one but now i do. People will say to me i dont need one, or just hug your friends! Its not the same, to have someone who likes you and fancys you and thinks about more than is healthy and you feel the same back is fantastic! There was this one guy, martin, that i liked, but to be honest part of me looks at him says well hes not my type! Im just going for him because hes single and a new guy( i know wot i mean!) People say i should wait until uni and then id get all the guys. I can't wait that long. Plus whats so different about my now and at college. Surely i will just be invisible like i am now! I can't see myself being fancied! Can u? Im not liked now so whats the difference?
Man u lost the other day, but guess what, i wasn't angry, that was only because i launched myself into the world of dr who before the reality could set in, so the footy was forgotten about! Anyway watford beat portsmouth 4-2 today! Woooooooooooooooooooo that rules!
Im going to wales 2moz afternoon, i know when i get there im going to be depressed and lonely. Thats cuz i dont really know the people there, so i will be a bit of an outcast. Oh well! I always get in a reflective and sad mood when im in the countryside. Homesick maybe?? But when i get home i want to be gone again. I want to loose myself in the hills. Sometimes i want to be a victim so i get more attention. Thats bad i know, but its how my mind works. I get lost in my fantasy worlds as well. And when i come out of them i get sad because i know what im feeling in my world isn't true. And a lot of the time so far from the truth its scary. Kidding your emotions can be dangerous. Lucky im level headed enough and stable enough not to let it seriously affect me.
Im worried in wales cuz i want to look semi cool as theres another girl going who is quite cool. Y do i always feel i have to compete with other girls??? I think is comes down to my self-esteem, confidence and attention issues again. Damn!
Right im off to kill my ipod and my computer!
Bikik xxxx
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1 comment:
You are going to look
WONDERFUL
at your party, and if anyone looks any better then you, i'll go beat them up :D. And if you dont' get at least TWO people falling head over heels for you at your party, I shall go beat up all the guys :]
Its okay to feel like you need someone miss vicki, dont beat yourself up about it, but we defo have to go (one of our saturdays) on a girly pickup night for you ^^ Feel better soon :]
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