Heya,
im happy today, i think its becasue its friday and i have sorted out over half of my entire A2 notes into piles etc! Ive just got to do some english ones and a bit of media when i get home! I couldn't be bothered to bring all my folders with me.
I think the others are going out to the cinema tonight, i can't go cuz i have to go and talk about being a scout leader in a pub in ruislip! random!!!! Though i wish i was seeing the guys, i miss them! Does that sound weird??? I hope someone misses me, sounds strange but i dont feel that any body would miss me if i disappeared from the group for any reason. Im probably being really dramatic and ott but hey one can never tell these things!
I dont feel any different now that im 18. Though i think it will kick in once i can drive! Weird i know! Oh well, who cares!
Looking forward to this weekend, i need a break! Plus its catherines birthday, wooo im soooo glad shes going to a chinease restaurant! A load of 18 year olds in a restaurant, hmmm i wonder how much alcohol we'll go through!!! One can only hope a lot! Wow i sound like an alchy! Im promise u im not, my parents keep offering me wine now that im offcialy allowed to drink it, but to be honest im not in the mood on a week night, i like to drink a bit if its an occasion or something similar!
Im going to go now, i hope that kat and cath havn't gone to the brazzerie without me!!! Wait wait! I neeeed foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!
Bikbi xxxxxxx
Friday, 27 April 2007
Monday, 9 April 2007
Hello back again!
Heya im back!!!
I have been urged (more like forced!) in to writing more in my blog!
I need to get a boyfriend! I go through stages where i dont need one but now i do. People will say to me i dont need one, or just hug your friends! Its not the same, to have someone who likes you and fancys you and thinks about more than is healthy and you feel the same back is fantastic! There was this one guy, martin, that i liked, but to be honest part of me looks at him says well hes not my type! Im just going for him because hes single and a new guy( i know wot i mean!) People say i should wait until uni and then id get all the guys. I can't wait that long. Plus whats so different about my now and at college. Surely i will just be invisible like i am now! I can't see myself being fancied! Can u? Im not liked now so whats the difference?
Man u lost the other day, but guess what, i wasn't angry, that was only because i launched myself into the world of dr who before the reality could set in, so the footy was forgotten about! Anyway watford beat portsmouth 4-2 today! Woooooooooooooooooooo that rules!
Im going to wales 2moz afternoon, i know when i get there im going to be depressed and lonely. Thats cuz i dont really know the people there, so i will be a bit of an outcast. Oh well! I always get in a reflective and sad mood when im in the countryside. Homesick maybe?? But when i get home i want to be gone again. I want to loose myself in the hills. Sometimes i want to be a victim so i get more attention. Thats bad i know, but its how my mind works. I get lost in my fantasy worlds as well. And when i come out of them i get sad because i know what im feeling in my world isn't true. And a lot of the time so far from the truth its scary. Kidding your emotions can be dangerous. Lucky im level headed enough and stable enough not to let it seriously affect me.
Im worried in wales cuz i want to look semi cool as theres another girl going who is quite cool. Y do i always feel i have to compete with other girls??? I think is comes down to my self-esteem, confidence and attention issues again. Damn!
Right im off to kill my ipod and my computer!
Bikik xxxx
I have been urged (more like forced!) in to writing more in my blog!
I need to get a boyfriend! I go through stages where i dont need one but now i do. People will say to me i dont need one, or just hug your friends! Its not the same, to have someone who likes you and fancys you and thinks about more than is healthy and you feel the same back is fantastic! There was this one guy, martin, that i liked, but to be honest part of me looks at him says well hes not my type! Im just going for him because hes single and a new guy( i know wot i mean!) People say i should wait until uni and then id get all the guys. I can't wait that long. Plus whats so different about my now and at college. Surely i will just be invisible like i am now! I can't see myself being fancied! Can u? Im not liked now so whats the difference?
Man u lost the other day, but guess what, i wasn't angry, that was only because i launched myself into the world of dr who before the reality could set in, so the footy was forgotten about! Anyway watford beat portsmouth 4-2 today! Woooooooooooooooooooo that rules!
Im going to wales 2moz afternoon, i know when i get there im going to be depressed and lonely. Thats cuz i dont really know the people there, so i will be a bit of an outcast. Oh well! I always get in a reflective and sad mood when im in the countryside. Homesick maybe?? But when i get home i want to be gone again. I want to loose myself in the hills. Sometimes i want to be a victim so i get more attention. Thats bad i know, but its how my mind works. I get lost in my fantasy worlds as well. And when i come out of them i get sad because i know what im feeling in my world isn't true. And a lot of the time so far from the truth its scary. Kidding your emotions can be dangerous. Lucky im level headed enough and stable enough not to let it seriously affect me.
Im worried in wales cuz i want to look semi cool as theres another girl going who is quite cool. Y do i always feel i have to compete with other girls??? I think is comes down to my self-esteem, confidence and attention issues again. Damn!
Right im off to kill my ipod and my computer!
Bikik xxxx
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