Sad, Angry and im probably gona cry in library!

Yeh well my happy spell really didn't last for long. Kinjal phoned me just now to tell me that ten people we invited arn't coming, including the guy i like. We changed our plans just for them and now their not even coming. And just to top it all off, their lying to kinjal and saying that their going to Pauls at 9.30, after the meal, but then other people are saying " r u going to kinjals?? no! wot time is pauls? 7.30" DONT FUCKING LIE YOU PRICKS. Its sooo obvious ur lying, kinjal deserves better than that. To be honest i dont want to go tonight, cuz i know the whole night will just be spent bitching about other people and to be honest i wont have fun becuase i built my hopes up for tonight. Everyone together, i could flirt! lol! It was my thing to look forward to, now its going to be shit and im not going to have fun, theres no one that i can flirt with or impress. Theres no fucking point in me going. I dont want to go, but i have to. Part of wants to go and make myself look good and inturn make myself feel better, but i know it wont. Putting on a false front is hard work, and just makes me more upset when i get home. I need some affection and im not getting it from anywhere, well apart from my cuddly cow, but to be honest that doesn't count at all. I need something to look forward to, the next thing is marys party but thats the last day of march and its only the 2nd today. I have my driving test in amoungst that. Everything sucks! I want to scream and scream and cry and cry some more. But i can't i have to show restraint. i dont want to go to my next lesson either. And knowing that i will have to re-tell this story a few more times today really doesn't fill me with joy. Im bored and upset and im not sure what else. I need fun and a hassle free world for once, i need someone, and at the moment i dont think i care who.

Bikbi xxxxxxx

UPDATE 16:29!!!

Ok ok so maybe i was being a bit drastic earlier! u know spur of the moment and that sort of thing! Im happier now. If they dont want to come then fuck them! Im gona have fun tonight and their not gona stop me! so there! nah nah nah!!!